discipline.

There are some things that you don't realize until you're a parent. One of those things is how tough disciplining your child can be. The old adage rings true "this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you." Oh, in so many ways.

First comes the wave of raw emotions: shock, guilt, embarrassment, a little bit of anger. Once your emotions are in check comes the question, of "how in the world do I deal with this?" (I'm sure that these situations will become increasingly complex the older that my kiddo gets). Next comes the hard part of putting your money where your mouth is: you can tell your kid that he's in trouble and there will be consequences; however, if there's no follow through, then you run the risk of becoming your kid's doormat. Let me just tell you, that's not something that I'm willing to let happen - it would be to the detriment of my child and would make me a lackluster parent.  Last, I like to have a conversation about what happened, why he shouldn't do it again, and what will happen if it does happen again. Throughout all of this, it's also important to make your child understand that he isn't 'bad', just his behavior.

So what brings this on? Well, let's just keep this hypothetical. My little guy acted out and needed a "come to Jesus". Challenge, accepted. 

1. Warn the child that he acted in a way that is not acceptable. List out what happened, why it was wrong, and what the punishment will be. 
2. Let the kid cry, even if it's hard to listen to and makes you want to cave. Stand your ground, it's okay. It will help the consequences make more of an impact. 
3. Follow up immediately with the stated consequences. Tonight it was a double dose of time out (1 minute per year old, times two).  I like to use a timer that beeps when the time out is up.
4. Have a follow-up, interactive discussion. (Do you know why you were in time out? Do we 'XYZ'? Will you do 'XYZ' again?')
5. Outline any remaining consequences. Tonight's consequence is no shows or movies (which, like I said in the beginning, can be more of a punishment to the parent than the child) 
6. Hug it out. You're not your kid's friend, but make sure that he knows that he is loved and disciplined because you do love him. 
7. Rinse and repeat, as necessary. 

With all of that being said, we're still at the beginning of what I assume will be a very long night that lacks any electronic entertainment and a very insistent three year old who is trying to find loopholes in the punishment agreement ("Mommy, I can watch tablet or phone ... they not tv").

Update: I'm not going to call it "success" but when I picked Nate up today, I was told that his behavior was "excellent". I was also asked if Nathan's television privileges were taken because during the "What are you thankful for?" exercise, he emphatically said his t.v. :)