discipline.

There are some things that you don't realize until you're a parent. One of those things is how tough disciplining your child can be. The old adage rings true "this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you." Oh, in so many ways.

First comes the wave of raw emotions: shock, guilt, embarrassment, a little bit of anger. Once your emotions are in check comes the question, of "how in the world do I deal with this?" (I'm sure that these situations will become increasingly complex the older that my kiddo gets). Next comes the hard part of putting your money where your mouth is: you can tell your kid that he's in trouble and there will be consequences; however, if there's no follow through, then you run the risk of becoming your kid's doormat. Let me just tell you, that's not something that I'm willing to let happen - it would be to the detriment of my child and would make me a lackluster parent.  Last, I like to have a conversation about what happened, why he shouldn't do it again, and what will happen if it does happen again. Throughout all of this, it's also important to make your child understand that he isn't 'bad', just his behavior.

So what brings this on? Well, let's just keep this hypothetical. My little guy acted out and needed a "come to Jesus". Challenge, accepted. 

1. Warn the child that he acted in a way that is not acceptable. List out what happened, why it was wrong, and what the punishment will be. 
2. Let the kid cry, even if it's hard to listen to and makes you want to cave. Stand your ground, it's okay. It will help the consequences make more of an impact. 
3. Follow up immediately with the stated consequences. Tonight it was a double dose of time out (1 minute per year old, times two).  I like to use a timer that beeps when the time out is up.
4. Have a follow-up, interactive discussion. (Do you know why you were in time out? Do we 'XYZ'? Will you do 'XYZ' again?')
5. Outline any remaining consequences. Tonight's consequence is no shows or movies (which, like I said in the beginning, can be more of a punishment to the parent than the child) 
6. Hug it out. You're not your kid's friend, but make sure that he knows that he is loved and disciplined because you do love him. 
7. Rinse and repeat, as necessary. 

With all of that being said, we're still at the beginning of what I assume will be a very long night that lacks any electronic entertainment and a very insistent three year old who is trying to find loopholes in the punishment agreement ("Mommy, I can watch tablet or phone ... they not tv").

Update: I'm not going to call it "success" but when I picked Nate up today, I was told that his behavior was "excellent". I was also asked if Nathan's television privileges were taken because during the "What are you thankful for?" exercise, he emphatically said his t.v. :)

four a.m.

It hasn't been a good week for sleep. I'm not sure if it is the 'fall back' time change or the reserve sugar from Halloween coursing through his system, but Nate has been waking up in the middle of the night for very strange reasons.

Monday Night: 
Nathan decided that he was not tired at all. After hours of trying to get him to sleep, he finally fell asleep at midnight. Yep, midnight. Afterwards, I went to my room and promptly fell asleep. At four thirty the next morning, I heard doors closing and floors creaking. Looking back, I realize that my initial reaction was that there was a burglar in the house. Did I wake up my husband? Nope. Like the person who gets picked off first at the beginning of every scary movie, I went downstairs half-asleep and completely unarmed.

What did I find? My child, who went to bed only four and a half hours beforehand, minus his pants and pull-up. The sound of the doors? Well, that was him trying to go out to play in the backyard. When I asked him what he was doing, he said that he had an accident in his pull-up, so he wanted to go outside and swing. His logic escapes me!

Tuesday Night:
After an amazing feat of victory, I got Nate to sleep at 10:30 p.m. Compared to the previous night, that was quite an amazing accomplishment. I've always said that Nate doesn't sleep as much as he should for his age bracket, even when he was an infant. Last night proved to be no different. At 4:00 a.m. I heard the door to my car open and close.

Thank goodness running down the stairs in the middle of the night didn't result in any broken bones for me. I see that adrenaline as the one silver lining to this ridiculously early wake-up. When I got to my car, which was in the garage, Nate was sitting in the passenger seat hugging three teddy bears. See, today at school was 'bring in your favorite teddy bear' day. Last night, Nate put about four of them in my car. The middle of the night scare session was because he wanted to check on them to make sure they were "okay and not in twouble".

What am I going to do with this kid?!

I see door child locks, an enhanced deadbolt and some sort of sensor alarm in our future. Thank goodness I am such a light sleeper! It's always the cute ones who are so rambunctious :)

happy halloween.

Our first year of "real" trick-or-treating was a success...sort of. Nate didn't remember what Halloween was all about from last year, so once he figured out that Halloween meant candy, he was very excited!

Surprisingly, Nate wasn't overly committed to choosing a costume this year. His latest interests have been superheroes (especially Batman) and Toy Story. Because Nate dressed up in the Batman/Robin duo with Chris back in 2011, I thought Toy Story would be the best route. What a cute Woody the Cowboy he made!

Nathan's daycare does a Halloween parade and party each year where the kids march by the parents in their costumes, have a party where they stuff themselves with sugar, and then go home when they are ready to bounce off the walls. It's a lot of fun and the kids are always so excited to show off their costumes to their friends! :)

In the last few years, we have only trick-or-treated at Nate's grandparents' homes. This year, we decided to try going around our own neighborhood. Nathan was very excited about getting to see the neighbors with the added bonus of candy. We took a few shots before going out. Another family photo, check!

Truth be told, our neighborhood is a mixed bag when it comes to trick-or-treating. First, not many people participated, which is good to know for the future. Second, there were a lot of people with lights on that answered the door saying they were not giving out candy. Isn't it standard knowledge that lights on means candy? Other awesome people just left a huge bowl of candy outside and trusted people to use the honor system. We only did three streets, but Nate got tired of walking so guess who got to carry him...awesome exercise, I'm telling you!

After our neighborhood, we headed to my parents' house where Nate took and ate an obscene amount of candy.  He and Pop Pop wore essentially the same hat - can you see the mischief in this little booger's eyes as he goes for the goods?

And of course, GiGi snuck little man extra candy -- it was Halloween, after all!

Here's a really cute shot of my parents with Nate, which is turning into an annual pose!

We also managed to get another little family photo that night (hurray!), even though Nate is either getting sleepy or completely zoned out in this picture.

I'm so happy that Nate had such a good time trick-or-treating. He's asked me about a thousand times today if he could go out again!

We have a ridiculous amount of candy in our house right now. In addition to the two buckets of candy that Nate brought home, we did not have a single trick-or-treater come to our house.

Has anyone heard of the Switch Witch? Basically the concept behind this idea is to have your child get rid of most, if not all, of the Halloween candy and switch out with a toy or some other thing that's on their wishlist. I'm not sure what I think about this idea yet. Honestly, I don't think would notice or throw too much of a fit if the candy disappeared completely one day -- next year may be a whole new ballgame, though. For this year, I'll probably save some of our favorites and then send the rest into our offices at work.

pirate 'tato head.

I've never been the biggest fan of carving pumpkins. I love how they look once they're done, but I hate getting my hands goopy and I am the furthest thing from artistic.

Last year I discovered pumpkin push-ins, which have been absolutely amazing. You just stick the parts in to make a familiar character or face. Last Halloween we made a vampire Elmo:

This year we found a pirate themed Mr. Potato Head that turned out so cute! Nathan still loves Jake and the Never Land Pirates and recently began an obsession with Toy Story, so this was a perfect find. Got to love Target!

Nate is very proud of his Pirate 'Tato Head, as he calls it :) 

boys are gross.

I'm all for letting my son build a robust immunity. I don't slather him in antibacterial every time we turn the corner, I don't obsessively wipe down shopping carts, and if he plays in some dirt, well that's just fine. We stay on our vaccination schedules, don't get antibiotics unless they can actually help, and Nate eats his fair share of yogurt with an extra probiotic mix-in. But there are some things that even the most level-headed, "I'm not going to be that germaphobe" parent can't hear or stomach.

Yesterday's moment: a splash, followed by "Mommy, my feet are in the potty!" Had he flushed? No. Did I have to clean poop from between his toes? Yes. I normally have a good handle on dealing with whatever these situations throw at me, but I was at a loss yesterday.

Today's moment: playing outside, Nathan looked at me and said "Mommy, watch this!" and then licked the side of a trash can. He thought it was so funny that he did it again later. I'm crossing my fingers that he doesn't get sick from that.

So in those moments of child-induced disgust, what do you do? Certainly not react in any way that draws attention, interest, or makes the kid think that he's being funny or entertaining. Give him an inch and he won't just take a mile. It will be a lifelong marathon of poop squishing, trashcan licking fun.

This little guy's mind works in mysterious ways. Just while I was typing this, he went to get a drink from the refrigerator, got distracted, and started watching Scooby Doo like this...

ticonderoga farms.

We've been trying to do a lot of family outings this fall. The weather has been beautiful, Nathan has boundless amounts of energy, and I want to get in as much time outside before it gets bitterly cold as possible. The last time that we went out for a big family outing on a weekend we went to Cox Farms. Today, we tried a new place called Ticonderoga Farms and I loved it! I read a review from a local mom blog and I'm so glad that I did! It was very helpful to know what to expect and I love that this place is less busy and geared more toward kids who are preschool through about first grade age. Linking up with PWC Moms because the post helped me to plan out our visit.

The Good:
One thing that I really enjoyed about this farm was that it is is far less commercialized than other places. While some of the animals (chickens) made me a little nervous, I was so glad that Nate got a chance to feed them and that he was not afraid at all!

Nate was also ecstatic that the farm had goats and insisted on trying to feed them rocks, until Chris showed him that they would actually come over and pay attention to him if Nate had leaves.

And while we did have to pay an additional four dollars, Nate rode his first pony today. I think he had an equal mixture of excitement and fear as the lady walked him around on his two little laps, but tonight he has told me (many times) that he is a cowboy now...and that the pony didn't kick him. Safety first, right?

 

The Hilarious: 
One of the rides that they had was a tractor that pulled little individual cars around that look like cows. The cows also go up and down. Nathan desperately wanted to ride this and so did all of the other adults in our group - so I took the photos.

Nate rode on trusty little Petunia and Chris rode on 'Lil Bits. I know this wasn't good for Chris's back, but they had a really great time!

The Very Ugly:
One of the things that I thought that Nathan would absolutely love was the 'giant pillow' on the farm, that is like a moonbounce, but shaped like a pillow that is easily about the size of our house. At first Nate did really well (especially while one of my friends was up there with him). Then came some of the bigger kids whose jumps were a little too much for Nate. This little venture ended with Nate sobbing and screaming "No, no, no, no, NOOO! Everybody stop jumping RIGHT NOW!" I took one picture before the meltdown and tried to take one during, but between me laughing (because it was just so dramatic) and him being tossed around like a jumping bean, none of the crying photos turned out.

But hey, you have to help your kids learn to laugh at things when they don't go their way - especially if it's a pillow mounbounce gone wrong! :) 

The Typical: 
My husband is infamous for trying to nap in strange places and today was no different. Can you believe that he expected to nap here?!

Nate put a kibosh to that this nap time, though. If Daddy is in a tree, Nate wants to be too. Monkey see, monkey do?

Quick backstory: over the summer, we re-arranged out garage and moved a bunch of things into storage. Chris made the 'daddy decision' (as he calls it) to put all of Nathan's strollers into storage. Well, issue is that Nate still would love some stroller action sometimes. Silver linking - lugging a 38 lb. toddler is amazing exercise.

The Pretty: 
I'm always excited when I get really crisp pictures with good facial expressions. On this trip to Ticonderoga Farms, we took 488 photos. After reviewing with much scrutiny, I now have 56 photos left from that original batch. Of those, 21 were 'Facebook worthy'. The pictures here are better and to me 'desktop worthy'. Granted, the one of Nathan is now my desktop. It would be a little narcissistic to put myself on my computer desktop, but I'm glad to have a decent photo turn out of myself.

Family Photos:
I've been on a kick to get more family photos taken this year and I'm very happy to report that I got two today! Granted, they are not 'Christmas card worthy' (that's the tier above 'desktop worthy'), but I think they are fun and captured some of the neat little things that this farm has to offer.

feeling the squeeze.

Money is tight. There, I said it. It's like that for almost everyone, right? With the cost of nearly everything going up, including next year's health insurance premiums, I'm pretty certain that we may be bringing home less than we do right now, even if we get our yearly raises.  Terrifying, right? On some level, absolutely. On another, we are incredibly lucky to have good jobs and benefits. If we lived anywhere else, we would be set.

How do we make it work then? Here are a few tips and tricks:

• Coupons: I work hard for my money and I want to save every cent possible! There's no shame in saving some moolah with another form of currency. 
• Store Sales: Most stores put items on sale once in a six-week cycle. Buy when it's on sale and save your hard earned cash. 
• Yard Sales: I've gotten hooked on online yard sales this year. Initially, I was a little hesitant but this has turned into a great little venture. I see this as an amazing way to get paid to de-clutter my house! So far, the money from the sales have gone toward a credit card payment, staining our deck, and installing a ceiling fan in Nate's room. Right now we're saving up for one of the dogs to have a dental cleaning! 
• Eating at Home: I don't cook well and I don't need all of my fingers to count the meals that I do know how to make. However, what we lack in variety, we make up for in leftovers...and when Chris decides to make a new concoction :)

Check out more money saving tips for all your grocery runs! 

secrets about motherhood.

A few nuggets of wisdom about life with a three year old:

The Toilet:
Isn't 'me' time great? A moment to do something or absolutely nothing ... for you, by you, and only you. Life with a toddler doesn't lend to a lot of 'me' time. Even though Nate is three and completely capable of entertaining himself for a few moments, he sticks to me like glue. Not only does Nate follow me into the restroom, usually he brings the dogs. I have an entire audience constantly. If that's not a cure for a shy bladder, I'm not sure what is. I'm not ready an anatomy lesson, so I try my hardest to keep him distracted. What works? This!

Thank goodness for electronic distractions! And thanks to Nate learning how to a.) pee standing up and b.) shake 'it'  when he's done, the bathroom rugs and floors are cleaned on a near daily basis.

Clutter:
My style: clean, clutter-free, organized.
Nathan's style: Toys are good, more is better, having the ability to see all of your possessions at one time is best (a.k.a. his everything strewn everywhere)

I had a day off but this week but because of being really sick last week, my house needed a deep cleaning. So Nate went to school and I spent the day cleaning the house. The floors, the kitchen, the laundry, the beds, the bathrooms. Everything. It was spectacular! Nate came home and quickly made his room live up to his standards again. Every night when he goes to sleep, he crams every stuffed animal that he owns into the bed and then squeezes himself in. It's noteworthy to point out that Nate has a full-sized bed.

It astounds me how much stuff this child has! Of course, I am very much to blame because I find myself buying him something new nearly every time that I'm out. It's a vicious and self-induced cycle, y'all.  

Stickers:
Forget money, this guy's true form of currency is stickers. From rewarding good behavior at daycare to pure entertainment, Nate loves his stickers. And I find them everywhere - the laundry, stuck to the floor, on our shoes, on my sweater when I'm halfway through a day in the office. If you can't have fun with the things that bug you, what's the use? (your eyes don't deceive you - trying out a Google auto-awesome below!)

Lies:
I'll end tonight's post with a seemingly down note that I hope to wrap right back up with a positive spin. It's no big shock that parents don't get enough sleep - it's something that our culture simultaneously pities and doles out respect for. Sleep is for the weak, right? We don't lie about not sleeping because it's a badge of honor and we have a whole little person to show for it.

What parents don't glamorize is the torturous bad or obnoxious behavior that they put up with every day. On a given night, we will have our share of tantrums, stubbornness, impatience (for example - Nathan just asked me for crackers about twenty times over the last two minutes), and sobbing fits for no good reason. And the pictures? I think I take about 200 pictures and only post the really happy or artistic three or four that come out.  Case in point, tonight Nate wanted to color but got upset that when he opened his crayon box, one single crayon fell out. One. The gall of that crayon! So, Nate spent the next twenty minutes crying about it, like this:

But what was the photo that I put up on Facebook? No, not the crying one. I put the one up where he picked up a crayon for about thirty seconds and looked like he was concentrating. It was a short-lived burst of silence and just like that, coloring time drew (bad pun) to a close...

Why the secrets? Why do we not fully divulge what motherhood entails freely?

Because we're so in love with and proud of our kids! I want to share all of the good things, because those are what sticks with me and what motivates me through the pre-naptime hours. Because I know that time is fleeting and pretty soon he won't want to be with me every waking moment of the day...and when that happens, my heart will break a little bit and swell with pride at the same time, because he's growing up.  Because I know that toys for little boys only get more expensive and I can put up with buying some plastic superheroes rather than phones and gaming systems. Because I know that one day, Nate will figure out what money really does rather than just putting "coins" in his bank...and when he does, we're in trouble! Making Nate learn to work for his rewards is something that I am trying to implement now to avoid a train wreck later. Finally, we keep our secrets because we want to see the best in our children and help them learn to draw upon their strengths.

almost like a real person.

What a week! I started feeling a little under the weather on Sunday night and by Monday morning I was really sick - we're talking a fever of 102, body aches like I was breaking apart, and my throat felt like I had swallowed glass. At first I thought I had a really bad cold, but by Tuesday night I was too miserable to keep going....and to make matters worse, Nate came home from school with a fever.

Chris took us to our local Patient First where we had amazing service, virtually no wait time, and found out that we both had strep. I think the last time that I had strep was when I was a kid and I don't remember it being anywhere near that bad.  Thank goodness for antibiotics!

We took a sort-of sick day and Nate spent a lovely day playing in the bath and diving into the enormous bag of kettle corn that we got on our recent trip to Cox Farms.

 

We both feel so much better, but not quite back to normal. I can't remember the last time that I slept this much in a single week but I'm glad that it's over!

cox farms, vol 2.

We had a family outing with some friends over the weekend and went to Cox Farms. We went last year and had so much fun! Granted, the admission is a little steep ($17 per person over 2 years old on the day that we went), but it is so worth it!

Last year, Nathan was a little more reserved, a little more likely to stick with me before venturing out to try something new. This go round, we had a hard time keeping up with him. I don't know how many slides he went down over, and over, and over again. Toddlers like repetition, right?

One thing that I love about this place is that the adults can join in on all of the action!

Nate even convinced me to go down the really big slide with him. Generally heights don't bother me that much but when drops are involved, my stomach gets queasy. I'm happy to say that we both giggled the whole (very long) way down.

We're planning on going back to Cox Farms in a few weeks, so we didn't feel completely compelled to get through every little activity this time. We took it slow and, while it was a beautiful day, it was so hot outside! But wasn't the sky just gorgeous? We got a little sun!

Nate tried the rope swing this year. While he didn't get too far, I saw a little spark light up in his eyes. I'm sure my mini-Tarzan will be trying to swing on everything now and by next year (or our next visit), he'll want to spend lots more time on this one.

Nate also loved the pigs and spent a long time watching them walk around, eat, and do their 'business'. Of course, the 'business' part was just so funny to Nathan. Such a boy!

I'm so happy to have these family outings on the weekends! It's so much fun to go see things through Nathan's eyes and to see how our visits change over time. Last year's experience was so much fun, but so different than this year's. I love that Nate can pick and choose what he wants to do (even if tearing off running is his way of 'telling' us), that he is so much more confident in jumping into new activities, and that we didn't have to bring a stroller or diapers! Change is good! :)