pause.

Sometimes I just want to hit 'pause' and freeze this season of our lives. As challenging as the terrible threes can be, they're also so funny and awe inspiring to me. In one moment, Nate will ask me the same question eight times and, after getting an answer that he doesn't want, try to do it anyway. In the next moment, he's spouting off some quippy or intuitive thought that flits across his mind.

I had a conversation with a lady in Target the other day that started off with her asking my opinion of an outfit and ended with talking about the different ages and stages that she's watched her seven (!!) kids go through. With kids who are in their late twenties, all the way to 24 months, she said that "each year gets more fun". And she's right. Each year is an increasingly fun and rewarding adventure, but each year is also so precious. I wouldn't want to trade Nate's baby days for anything. That little chunk brought out a new level of love that I've never felt before and gave me a crash course into motherhood - 

Now, we're able to have actual conversations and I'm able to really appreciate his personality, his sense of humor, and help to train him to be the best person that he can be when he gets older. I've seen a burst in his language skills over the last few month; my child now uses prepositions, pronouns, and articles regularly and correctly! The fact that we are moving from child-caveman speak ("me hungry")  to full sentences ("I'm a little bit hungry. May I have a snack please?") is a huge deal. I think every parent with kids has said the phrase "use your words" about a billion times. It's exciting to finally be at that point!

For the record, I'm still convinced that Nate doesn't sleep as much as other kids his age. We had an unprecedented moment last week where Nate fell asleep at 8:00 p.m., but then woke up before midnight raring to go. Never again! On any given day, he can run laps, not take a nap, not have sugar, and still be running full steam at my bedtime. He exhausts me but I wouldn't have it any other way!

summer wish list.

As far as I am concerned, summer is here! The weather is warming up, lawn maintenance is in full swing, and for the first time in a long time, no one is in school! I finished up my graduate certificate in Academic Advising through Kansas State University in December and hubby just wrapped up his second to last class for his Master's. I think I may be more excited for him to graduate than he is! One Master's thesis stands between us and having a little bit of free time back!

One day I'll finish up my Master's. I'm about a third of the way done with it, but then I got side tracked taking the grad cert for a different program at a different school. I work in higher ed and I know better than to jump around so much, but for now, mama needs a break!

I made a list (because that's what I do) of the top three things that everyone wants to do this summer:

Me:

• Go to the beach. I desperately need a vacation! 
• Get Nate into swimming lessons. Sink or swim, kiddo.
• Repaint the dining room; I have major regret for wanting to paint it red when we bought our house. I blame the pregnancy hormones. 

Chris: 

• Go to the beach
• See movies at the actual theatre 
• Sleep (Hey, I got two-ish real wishlist items, I'll take it)

Nate: 

• Build a snowman (somebody's been watching too much Frozen and singing some "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?", ehh?) 
• Sleep outside (I'm assuming this means camping)
• Play with plants (Good luck with this one, kid. I do not have a green thumb - plants last a week, tops, with me)

Well it looks like we'll definitely try to get to the beach. I'm ready for some time to relax with our little family! 

nathan-isms, vol. 5.

The terrible threes may be upon us, but the tantrums seem to be subsiding somewhat. The beauty and hilarity of this age is that your child begins to find his voice. Another round of Nathan-isms...

Monday afternoon, on the way home from school...
Me: I missed you today. Did you miss me?
Nate: Can I be honest?
Me: Yes...
Nate: Not really.

Calling my mom on the phone for Mother's Day...
Nate: HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! Why are my mommy's teeth black?
(for the record, I feel the need to point out that this is not the case and I am not on my dentist's naughty list)

On a particularly trying afternoon...
Me: Why are you being stubborn?
Nate: Because I'm a Darder.

In reflecting over the passage of time...
Nate: Mommy, is it Friday?
Me: No, it's only Tuesday.
Nate: Are you sure?
Me: Yup.
Nate: But...could you just double check?

Before heading to a birthday party...
Me: You're going to a birthday party tomorrow for a little girl. It's a princess party!
Nate: Oh wow! And I can be a prince for allllllll the girls?

hats & filters.

Have you ever taken the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment? I have. It's been an eye opening and integral part of my professional and personal development over the last few years. Basically, there are different personality dimensions that represent your preferences - not what you do 100% of the time, but what you gravitate to and find a sense of comfort in. It's funny how just a few letters can set you on a path to a deeper sense of self-awareness. My personality type is:

Introversion
Sensing
Thinking
Judging

I love my 'S' and my 'J'. I embrace the ability to take in all of the details and plan the hell out of things. I love order, facts (I work in an ideal job where I am up to my ears in data), and I organize everything. The combination of these preferences makes me feel borderline OCD, but as long as I am a highly efficient and functioning OCD, I embrace that too.

The combination of my "I" and my "T" tend to screw me over. Ahh, this blog of mine is generally photos of my kid, but we're taking a different direction tonight. Introversion: pretty self explanatory, right? I am not a center of attention, public speaking, first to volunteer kind of girl. Thinking: this one is a bit tricker. I like to think of this as logical and rational, without being clouded down with emotion. This isn't to say that I'm an emotionless robot, but I make decisions after thinking out pros and cons, and you will rarely hear me say "I feel blah blah blah" (unless it's about being tired).

So back to my dilemma: I don't want to sugar coat, I like to say it and hear it straight, and I cannot stand nonsense or hemming and hawing over a situation because of being uncomfortable. Just.say.it. Combine that with introversion and the result is that I have a lot on my mind without much coming out of my mouth. I think this stems from a sense of awareness of other people's innate preferences - if a person is more drawn to feelings and emotions, I am respectful of that personal space. Respectful to the point of losing my voice.

Enter relationships, the boundaries in which you feel a certain level of comfort with others (and therefore comfort to venture outside of your preferences), but in which you are the actor of a certain role. The metaphor about wearing different hats is an appropriate illustration for this idea: I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, etc. etc etc. In each of these relationships, there's almost a contract of behavior that requires you to strap on your compassionate filter, your understanding filter, your hold-your-tongue-until-you-nearly-bite-it-off-filter. In a perfect world, I could throw both my hat and my filters out with last week's garbage, but that would leave the 'feelers' in tears and my relationships in shambles.

It's time to find a better balance.

springtime shenanigans.

Life with a three year old is anything but predictable. I never thought that I would have to apologize to a Target cashier for my son calling her a "little stinker" (true story), that I would have to explain while eating on the toilet is disgusting, and that I would have an audience in Chipotle after Nate tested out the acoustics in the restroom (screaming "echo, echo, echo" and "my poop is greeeeeeeeeen!". Parenting is eating humble pie.

Because I have a major backlog of photos on my phone, a barrage of pictures of my kid (what a shocker).

First, even superheroes have that awkward moment where the bottom of their cape hangs out the car door...

Another toy project from the Lowe's Build & Grow Clinic complete! Nate made a recycling truck (for free!) and it's now on his prized kid-version DIY shelf.

Our first trip to Nathan's Dairy Bar of the season! Nate loves this cow bench, if you can't tell.

First board game attempted: Operation
Length of game: 3 minutes
Frustration Level for a 3 Year Old: HIGH
Frustration Level for a 34 Year Old: HIGH -- Chris was set on the rules, while Nate opted for the sound effects

This little cutie made me a lovely bouquet of dandelions, the only "flower" that I can't kill, while I mowed the grass the other day.

What dog likes the trampoline? NOT this one! Our beagle went in looking to see if Nate dropped his snack, got closed in, and "enjoyed" a few bounces before I rescued him.

Did you know that dogs can climb ladders? Highly motivated ones in search of kiddie snacks can! Granted, the ladder to this little playhouse is on a slant, but nothing brings delight to my child's heart more than seeing his furry friends up in his "ship".

Just my friendly neighborhood Spider-Nate before preschool...

easter.

Easter this year was beautiful and low key. After lots of busy days leading up to the holiday, it was unspeakably needed to have some beautiful weather and something important to celebrate. I feel conflicted that we've never taken Nate to church, so I've been trying to teach him the significance to big holidays with the help of kids' books and YouTube. We watched a kids cartoon about the meaning of Easter, which only made Nate ask for Cheese-Its (which, I guess does sound semi-close to Jesus). Maybe next year ...

In any case, we started off the day with Nate's Easter basket. I insisted that he put on a nice shirt for a photo and I think it was on and off in a matter of sixty seconds. The basket was a hit: Goldfish (our tradition), a stuffed bunny (he's obsessed with stuffed animals), ONE chocolate bunny (the only candy that we gave him), and a PlayDoh set - all in a robot bucket that he can use in his sandbox. The PlayDoh was especially timely because Nate's been watching (creepy) videos of a woman demonstrating how to play with different toys - scenarios, voices, and all. He spent about two hours afterwards making 'worms'.

Later, we put a (new?) twist on an egg hunt. First, instead of candy in the eggs, I put in change. Nate loves putting "coins", as he calls them, into his piggy bank and this helped to avoid a sugar overload. Second, we were able to video chat with Chris's parents so that they could be involved in part of the holiday, even though they are all the way in Texas. Notice, Nate is wearing a different shirt - one that was cotton, no collar, and no tag (picky much?) and a beloved superhero cape given to him by his aunt and uncle.

Listening to the coins inside of the egg :)

Quick break to 'fly' around like Superman!

My little jokester kept telling us "trick-or-treat".

This cape has seen some mileage. Love this thoughtful gift, so perfect for him!

I'm not much for traditional Easter food. Spiral ham? No, thank you! I haven't eaten ham since I read Charlotte's Web, and that's a fact. No worries, I DO eat bacon like a normal person :)  Since we had such beautiful spring weather - blue skies, seventy degrees, puffy clouds - we grilled out for dinner. I plan to get our money's worth out of our grill now that it's warming up outside! My family came over and Nate got a second basket from my parents - this one, much to his delight, was chocked full of candy.

One epic sugar meltdown later, Nate was put to bed, and our holiday drew to a close. I was so thankful to be able to spend the day with family, near and far away. Now comes the hard part: rationing out the candy motherload for my little sweet tooth - he is SO insistent and persuasive.

once upon a time.

On our one-mile drive home from preschool today, Nate said, "Mommy, I want to tell you a story". And so began his little tale...

"Once upon a time 'der was a pwincess. In the castle there was a dragon with fire in his mouth. One day a crocodile came and snapped the pwincess in his mouth. The end."

Stifling giggles, I asked why no one saved the princess. Nate's response:

"Okay, fine. Once upon a time 'der was a pwincess...and all the other things I said. And then the crocodile snapped the pwincess in his mouth and a pwince came to rescue her. The end....are you happy now?"

Eeeesh!

And now for a completely unrelated photo of Bat-Nate in the sandbox...

the little things.

enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things

-robert brault

It's been busy lately, the tough kind of busy that makes you wonder: if you're burning the candle at both ends, is there anything left? Lately my days have turned into nights and my nights have gotten much shorter. It happens. We're all busy. 

Pushing through. One thing that has been helpful, dare I say motivational, has been to pick a favorite moment of the day and capture it. I've been doing this for the past week and it's served as a needed reminder of thankfulness. In no particular order....

-1-

At our (drive-thru!) pharmacy: 

Pharmacist: What is the last name pick-up? 

Me: Darder. D-A-R-D-E-R

Pharmacist: And the first name? 

Nathan: DADDY! 

-2-

Nathan sharing one of his beloved cake pops with his GiGi for her birthday...and I use the term 'sharing' very loosely because he tried hard to get all of it. This was just such an adorable (and hysterical) moment.

-3-

Reading together has become one of my favorite things for Nathan and I to do. Lately, he has really loved the 'Little Dinos' books like this one. I bought them through the Scholastic reading club at Nate's preschool and they have paid for themselves many times over! When Nate gets the urge to slap something, he's gotten so that he looks at me and says "Mommy - little dinos don't hit". Amazing. 

We just got a new book order delivery in today and we got TWENTY books! I let Nate circle what he wanted in the flyers (fine motor skills, plus interest!) so we ended up with mostly Mercer Mayer's 'Little Critter' books, with a few Doc McStuffins, Bubble Guppies, and Jake and the Never Land Pirates mixed in. We read them all in one sitting tonight! I may have no voice tomorrow but with little man cuddled up with me it was just perfect.

-4-

I've said it before and I'll say it again: my kid has a ridiculous amount of energy. On weekends, we generally keep him up and running all day, no nap, and he's still not falling asleep until late. We have the same struggle during the week. Case and point, the other night after a full day of school, playing outside, and running laps through our house, around 11:00 p.m. But hey, if you're going to be up late, why not go out with a bang?

-5-

We celebrated Chris's 34th birthday this past week! I got off of work early, bought a surprise cake and presents, and then conspired with Nathan to decorate before Chris came home from work. Nate picked out all of the decorations for the house (some tissue balls, crepe paper, plates, and napkins in Chris's favorite colors - Nate was especially emphatic about the napkins). He also picked out a few gifts for Chris

Our convo at checkout...

Nate: Today is Daddy's birthday! 

Cashier: Oh, that's very nice. It looks like you are having a party. 

Nate: Yeah, I am getting him these soldiers and a pirate sword. They are a present .... maybe we will share.

And of course, we had some fun in the party section in Target: 

Chris never did get those soldiers or the pirate sword, but that's okay - I think he's pretty happy with his new PS4! 

-6-

After muddling through a lot of rainy days, we got a nice little burst of beautiful weather. I got Nate a sandbox (pirate themed, of course), 200 lbs. of sand, and received bliss in return. On Saturday he played in there for three hours straight without so much as a peep. I've heard that sprinkling cinnamon in sand will help keep bugs out, so we'll give that a shot once it warms up a bit more. In the meantime, this little kiddo is having a blast. 

-7-

Chris threw out his back over the weekend (cutting ice cream cake of all things) and he's been pretty miserable over the last few days. Let's be clear: this isn't the point of this "favorite moment" :)  In times where one of us isn't feeling our best, I'm so happy and comforted by the fact that I have a partner in crime. This time it's me helping him, but come next migraine, I know that he's got my back. 

find gratitude in the little things and your well of gratitude will never run dry

-antonia montoya

quirks.

I've been thinking a lot about behavior lately. About my son's behavior, about how my behavior comes off to and influences other people, and about the little nuances of our personality that make us tick. Quirks. I am a sandwich deconstructing, OCD organizing, coffee fanatic who spends time doing this inane things like surveys, panels, couponing and yardsaling to save money. I've embraced the crazy. It makes me who I am and I'm just fine with that.

But when it comes to facilitating development in my child, I wonder if maybe I've come off too strong or if being picky really is in his DNA. Nate is a child of extremes and his particular demands can be exhausting sometimes ... but I am exactly the same way about my own little convictions. My child would rather wear nothing or be completely bundled up. Shorts and t-shirts are a no go right now - he best change his tune before summer rolls around. He is a mini-Sheldon and has a designated 'spot' in every room...and he's not afraid to call you out if you're in it. Unlike any little boy that I've been around, Nate does not like to get dirty or, especially, wet. A drop of water means a whole new outfit and a puddle will prompt him to beg you to carry him so that his shoes don't get wet. And he is steadfast in these quirks, completely unmoving.

Just this afternoon his preschool teacher said that he had been "strong willed" this week and was having "difficulty following directions". The sugar-coated version that he's not listening. Our conversation as we got into the car from school:

Me: What's going? Ms. J. said we need to work on listening and following directions.
Nate: [audible sigh] I am stubborn.

Out of the mouth of babes! If that's not self-awareness, I'm not sure what is.

And while he has the tendency to be particular, or as I like to look at it, he knows exactly what he wants and how he wants it, Nate also has the spontaneity and off the wall sense of humor like my husband. The two of them watch superhero cartoons together ad nauseum, laughing at the characters, and try to scare me whenever possible. Nate's newest thing, which Chris swears he did not teach him, is to walk up to you, bend over, and (as I'll affectionately term it) toot in your face. Afterwards, he runs away giggling so hard that he has hiccups. Since words like "poopy butt" (ahh, gotta love the kids at preschool for that one) aren't allowed, Nate has taken to calling people "cheesy sandwich". I asked him the other day why exactly he called people that and he told me "Mom, that's a 'cause cheesy sandwiches are stinky!" Touche, little man.

And so that this post has one photo in it, here's my child who insisted on playing in the bathroom for hours the other night rather than any other room in our house...

thawing out.

We've had a taste of spring here in northern VA, which means that my little ball of energy has been able to go outside! I think that all of the parents and teachers at preschool have let out a collective sigh of relief because we've been able to let the little ones let out some steam over the last week. Unfortunately, daylight savings time has wreaked havoc on my kiddo's sleep schedule, so I'm getting less sleep than normal. Fun. 

Nate's outdoor accomplishments this week include: 

Taking an adorable selfie inside of his "ship" a.k.a. the playhouse on his swingset...

Riding on the neighbor's new ride-on toy...

Jumping like crazy on his trampoline...

More fun outside things to come. I'm thinking about signing Nate up for soccer this summer. I think he would love it and I may just rock being a soccer mom...